My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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