he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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