I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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