My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
