Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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