I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize