I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
