this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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