VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
try to milk me bitch
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