You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
