not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
