Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
