I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
