Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I have tasted many bathrooms
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
