TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize
