how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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