if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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