It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
