Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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