im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
