two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
