very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
