i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
