the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
