I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
