whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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