Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize