she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
