I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
