i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
only you would photoshop your dick
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
