My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
