oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
