Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
