this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
