I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
