I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
