Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
