you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
