physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
