Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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