dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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