On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
