These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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