I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
