I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
