Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
