So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
