"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
