Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
