Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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