she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
