There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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