I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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