too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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