I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
