I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
