She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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