What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
