Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize