dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I pour the whiskey from now on
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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