I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
